


Demos Oneiroi

by imadra_blue



Category: Final Fantasy XIII
Genre: Action/Adventure, Background Het, Canon - Video Game, Community: hardmode, Drama, F/M, Gen Fic, M/M, Mystery, POV Third Person, Post-Canon, Romance, Slash, Wordcount: 10.000-30.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-21
Updated: 2010-09-21
Packaged: 2017-10-12 02:06:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/119600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imadra_blue/pseuds/imadra_blue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four years after the end of Final Fantasy XIII, Hope, Lightning, and Sazh respond to a distress signal from a mysterious tower in east Gran Pulse. They discover a man they thought dead and comfortable lodging filled with lower hierarchy fal'Cie waiting to do their bidding. While Hope grows closer to their host, strange dreams plague him and the others--dreams that cannot be coincidence. After plunging into the depths of the tower to discover the source of these dreams, they find a fal'Cie unlike any other they met before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Hardmode (DW Comm). Many thanks to Lassarina, who I must gush at a bit for beta reading this while writing her own awesome story. The wonderful soundtrack mix for this fic by Emory may be found [here](http://imadra-blue.livejournal.com/476337.html). Concrit is always welcome on any of my stories.
> 
>  _Disclaimer:_ _Final Fantasy XIII_ and all its characters are property of Square Enix Co., Ltd. No copyright infringement is intended.

Below, the Nenvan Wode stretched out across the canyon floor like a viridian sea. Giant flowers thrust out of the rippling surface, offering way stations of white and pink. Wyverns of all species drifted over the tree canopy, searching for unwary prey that climbed high enough to pluck out. One lucky svarog had apparently just caught its morning meal. Its prey's cries carried on the wind up to the _Lady Luck_.

Squinting, Hope barely made out the flailing outline of a Nenvan long-armed monkey in the svarog's formidable jaws. Even when Titan did not loom overhead, Gran Pulse provided constant reminders that only the strong and smart survived. Hope thought of Snow and Serah, back at their base camp with Team NORA, waiting for Serah to give birth. Even with their l'Cie powers, Hope worried they might not be strong or smart enough to protect a helpless infant from the vagaries of Gran Pulse.

The thought of l'Cie powers caused Hope to scratch his left wrist. Though the l'Cie brand had long since faded, he sometimes felt as if it were still inscribed on his skin. After all, little had changed since Cocoonfall. All the l'Cie still had magic--even young Dajh. The surviving citizens of Cocoon still hated them--now more than ever. The survivors resented the destruction of their home and the loss of many lives in the ensuing chaos. They blamed the l'Cie for the destruction of Cocoon and its fal'Cie, and refused to believe that the fal'Cie had only kept them in Cocoon to sacrifice them. Hope and the others voluntarily exiled themselves to avoid violence.

The _Lady Luck_ rose higher into the clouds. After "borrowing" the PSICOM airship two years ago, Sazh had quickly mastered the art of flying in the chaotic skies of Gran Pulse. Now, even Lightning could not muster more than one or two complaints every time they took to the skies--and usually only about things Sazh had well in hand.

"Will they have yute cookies where we're going?" Dajh asked, mournfully staring out the window. "I want yute cookies."

"We've had this conversation before." Sazh said from the cockpit, his gaze still trained on the skies. "We don't have the ingredients for yute cookies. We can't have them anymore."

"But I want yute cookies," Dajh explained. "We might find them somewhere." He could not be accused of being a pessimist, at least.

"And they'd likely be five hundred years expired," Sazh quipped.

"I'd still eat them!"

"Oh, look," Sazh said quickly. "We're almost there."

Everyone forgot about Dajh and his cookie plight--even Dajh. They crowded around Sazh to gaze out the cockpit's main window. As Sazh lowered the _Lady Luck_ from the cloud cover, a tower came into view. It lay embedded against the steep cliff wall like a climbing vine. Its upper levels shot high into the sky, its spire lost in clouds. The tower seemed as circular and huge as Taejin's Tower, but dressed in black and red.

"Wow," Hope said. "That's where the distress signal is coming from?" He thought of Taejin's Tower, just north of Sulyya Springs. "What if a fal'Cie lives in there?"

Lightning crossed her arms. "Might be, but that signal we picked up on the _Lady Luck_ is a military signal. Guardian Corps. They don't go this far east. Hell, even PSICOM doesn't go this far east."

"Rescuing those people is suicidal." Sazh shook his head. "They want us dead, or did you forget already?"

"Yes, but don't we owe it to them to help them when we can?" Hope thought of his father, who had not left Cocoon alive. He had died during Cocoonfall, as had so many others. Fang and Vanille had not been able to prevent the deaths resulting from the power failure and jarring fall. The survivors of Cocoon had sacrificed their way of life--and learned to survive in a place they once called hell. Sickness, disease, and the vicious predators of Gran Pulse plagued them even now. Hope understood the wrath of the grieving people of Cocoon. That same wrath had once fueled Operation Nora, his revenge against Snow. He only hoped that the Cocoon survivors eventually realized the futility of their actions, just as he had.

Lightning nodded. "You're right. Of course we do." She glanced at the tower. "They may hate us, but we'll save them, like we did before."

Sazh glanced back. "Only with a lower body count, I hope," he said. He gestured at the tower. "I'll be dropping you two off, then parking nearby." He gestured at Dajh and sighed. "We'll be outside, waiting for the all clear, and discussing the impossible dream that is the yute cookie."

Dajh beamed. "I hope you find some!"

"Give it a rest, okay?"

Lightning moved towards the door as Sazh drew closer to the tower. "Once we check the place out, we will let you know as soon as it's safe to proceed inside."

Dajh jumped up. "Oh! I sense lots of Pulse power in there!"

"Pulse power?" Lightning scowled at the tower. "Fal'Cie?"

Dajh nodded. "Definitely." His ability to sense Pulse power remained undiminished--and apparently extended to Pulse fal'Cie, as well.

"Wonderful." Sazh scowled. "You two better be careful."

"Can I come with you guys this time?" Dajh asked.

"Oh, no!" Sazh shot his son a glare. "Ten-year-olds don't go into fal'Cie lairs!"

"But I'm a l'Cie, too! And Hope went to go fight with you when he was only four years older than me!"

"There's a big difference between fourteen and ten, and we had no choice at the time. Besides, you can't even pop off a Fire spell without burning my damn hair off."

"Your hair got in my way, Dad. It wasn't my fault."

Sazh glared at his son. "I was in the opposite direction of the wood you were supposed to burn!" Though he looked younger with his close-cropped haircut, he still apparently mourned the loss of his locks.

"You look really good with a haircut, though, Sazh," Hope said with a smile.

"Don't encourage the boy." Sazh continued to glare at Dajh. "You're not going with them."

Dajh flopped back into his seat and crossed his arms, his bottom lip jutting out. Hope laughed and patted his fluffy hair. "It's okay, Dajh. Once it's safe, you can follow us."

"I see an opening on the side, and it's probably our best shot of getting in, if it's like Taejin's Tower," Sazh observed. "I'll drop you off near it. Just a quick jump for you acrobats."

"Ready?" Lightning asked as the _Lady Luck_ sailed up to the tower. Apparently uninterested in Hope's answer, she opened the door just as he opened his mouth, and the wind stole his breath and voice.

Dajh laughed at the wind, and his mirth followed Hope and Lightning as they leapt from the _Lady Luck_ onto one of the tower's ledges. A wild feeling of falling possessed Hope, but his l'Cie reflexes saved him, as they always did. He landed on the ledge and scrabbled at loose stones until Lightning helped him find his purchase. Grit blew into his face, and Hope coughed to clear his lungs before following Lightning. She climbed towards the tower's opening--a crumbled wall, worn down by time. Hope wondered if this tower might be older than Taejin's Tower.

"It's dark. Be careful," Lightning murmured as she disappeared inside the opening.

Hope climbed through the opening a moment later. Lightning had not lied--the diffuse light from outside only stretched a few feet inside the opening. The further Hope moved inside, the more the darkness swallowed him. He could hear his and Lightning's footsteps echoing on stone, but as they quested further in the dark, disorientation settled over Hope. He could feel cool stone against his fingertips when he stretched his hand out, but there appeared no end to the tunnel. He could tell it curved, but he had no idea where. Left, right, up, down--all these directions seemed meaningless in the dark.

"Here," Lightning said, still ahead of him. Hope wondered if she ever felt disoriented in the dark. "I found something. Some sort of knob or button. Maybe if I push it in--"

A loud rumbling sound interrupted her, and Hope gripped the wall beside him as the floor shook beneath his feet. He prepared for the worst, for the dark void to open up beneath him and swallow him whole, but instead the wall opened. Light spilled into the corridor, revealing Lightning standing in front of a door, her hand still outstretched. A man walked towards her, his booted heels loud upon the stone.

"Now, this is a surprise," Cid Raines commented, arching a dark eyebrow as he peered inside the corridor.

Surprise would be too mild a word for what Hope felt as he saw a man he had thought dead for four years. Surprise was a description best left for the gifts his l'Cie family gave him on his birthday. His reaction to seeing Cid Raines--the man who had taken responsibility for his father's safety--was not surprise.

It was fury.

"Raines," Lightning ground out.

"You bastard!" Hope screamed, leaping forward. A Fira spell burst from his hand, though he did not recall casting it. He felt as if it were still inside him, boiling his blood.

Raines blocked the spell with a well-timed Shell. The Fira dissipated across him, crisping the edges of his dark cloak but leaving him otherwise unharmed. "Hold! I am not your enemy. Like you, I have been freed."

"To hell with that!" Hope cried. Lightning grabbed him from behind and pulled him back. It was then he realized the frost forming over his hand was a Blizzara spell. "What about my father? You were supposed to protect him! He died in your so-called safehouse!"

Raines shook his head. "I don't know. I don't remember anything after awakening from my crystal sleep."

"Crystal sleep?" Lightning asked, still holding Hope. "I thought Rygdea killed you for becoming Primarch!"

Raines blinked. "Killed me?"

Hope struggled against Lightning, but her grip was like steel. The anger drained out of him with every frustrated movement, fizzling like his Blizzara spell. However, his sense of loss remained. Because of this man's carelessness, Hope had lost his father as well as his mother. He stared at Raines with a trembling jaw.

"Rygdea never killed me. I never became Primarch." Raines took a step closer and extended his hand, as if in peace. "I don't know what you mean."

"This is going to take some explaining, then," Lightning commented.

 

*************

 

The tower's interior appeared made of dull gray stone, which oddly left the inside bleaker than the ominous black and red stone that decorated the outside of the tower. The lack of lighting only added to the interior dreariness. Even with a burning torch in every sconce, shadows clung to the vaulted ceiling and along the cracked and aging wall.

The dining table had worn away at the edges, but Hope felt no dust on the table or the stone chair he sat on. He knew it was silly, to be in an ancient tower with a man thought dead until recently, thinking about dust, but it seemed easier than thinking of anything else.

Raines seemed genuinely confused by their story. As Lightning explained the fate of Cocoon, he glanced about the room, eyes darting around as if to process the information faster. She told Raines how they all killed Orphan, how Fang and Vanille saved Cocoon as Ragnarok afterwards, how Fang and Vanille awoke all the l'Cie from their crystal forms and set them free, and how all the surviving l'Cie had exiled themselves from the survivors of Cocoon to avoid violence.

Hope listened to all of this, adding nothing, wondering if all his emotions had abandoned him for more fertile grounds. Raines' shadow stretched into Hope's lighted area. He looked up.

For a moment, Raines glanced down at Hope with a furrowed brow. The light glittered off the silver buckles on his belt, and his clothes seemed rather clean and well-kept for a man living out in the middle of nowhere--almost brand new. "I am sorry for your father's loss. I had no idea--"

"Don't talk about it. Please," Hope replied, preferring the numb state he had settled into.

"But you do need to start talking about other things," Lightning told Cid. Her arms lay crossed under bosom, and her blue eyes seemed sharper than ever. "Like how you survived, for one."

Raines rubbed his lips. Then he began to pace, his long legs moving in stiff military fashion. "There isn't much to tell, I'm afraid. Barthandelus said he brought me back as a puppet to become Primarch? He lied. It must have been some sort of imposter or illusion. I was in crystal form the entire time--I know nothing of being Primarch or even what happened to the Calvary." He stared down at the floor. "Knew, rather. I suspected them all dead, but Cie'th--" He sighed.

Lightning scowled. "Fal'Cie smoke and mirrors. We all thought your 'resurrection' was odd."

"To say the least. I awoke in the Fifth Ark about four years ago, same as you." The ghost of a smile passed over Raines' face. "I heard the voice of your friends, Fang and Vanille. They told me our dream had been realized, and our purpose fulfilled. Cocoon had been saved from the tyranny of the fal'Cie. My life was mine to do with as I pleased."

Lightning exchanged a glance with Hope, for this had been almost exactly what happened to them.

"When I emerged from the Ark," Raines continued, "I found myself in the wreckage of Cocoon. I believe your friends freed me some time after Cocoon had evacuated--thanks to your story, I now believe they did it to protect me from the repercussions of my imposter's actions."

Lightning nodded. "It took the survivors less than a month to clear out Cocoon--without fal'Cie power and support, the place dried up."

"Yes, it certainly was a lifeless husk when I emerged. I salvaged what I could of food, clothing, water, and supplies, and set out. I apparently avoided most of the Cocoon survivors, and what few people I met, well--they tried to kill me. I now understand why if they thought I was the Primarch who failed them. It took me a year of travel, but I wound up here."

"What is this place?" Lightning asked. She uncrossed her arms and pushed herself off the table to glance around the dining room. "Dajh said he sensed fal'Cie presence. I don't see anything like that, unless you're hiding it."

"I am not sure what this place is, but there are indeed fal'Cie here. Observe." Raines gestured at an ornate and rusted dumbwaiter door. "Three cups of hot saju tea, please."

The dumbwaiter door rumbled to life, and its ornate patterns glowed. The door slid up and revealed three steaming cups on a silver tray. Behind the tray, the polished metal interior revealed a human-shaped face on the back wall. Raines took the tea tray out, and the rusty door slid shut.

"A fal'Cie!" Hope cried, belatedly. All other thought seemed to pause and reroute itself to cope with this revelation. He had not seen a Pulse fal'Cie in years, not since they had headed east. This small fal'Cie did not produce the fear and awe the larger ones always had, but tension still spread through his body.

"Yes, your powers of observation are astounding," Raines remarked and set the tray down on the table by Hope. He sighed. "Forgive me, that was sarcastic and inappropriate."

Hope blinked. "Ah," he responded eloquently.

"I suppose what you mean to ask is why there is a fal'Cie who produces food here, much like Carbuncle once did in your home town?" Raines handed Hope a cup of the tea. It felt hot against Hope's hands and smelled of real saju. "A reasonable question. But one I don't have the answer for."

"You set us up for the fal'Cie again, didn't you?" Lightning ground out. She whipped out her gunblade as quick as her name and pointed the tip at Cid's throat. "Lies and deceit. You never change."

Raines did not appear concerned. He lifted a cup of tea. "If you'd like the last cup, Lightning, you're welcome to it." He glanced at Hope. "It's not poisoned. Drink up."

Hope neither drank nor set the cup down. "Answer her question, please."

"Since you asked politely." Raines glanced at Lightning and took a sip of his tea. "There are many fal'Cie here. Easily two dozen. All of the minor and mindless variety found in Cocoon that once made our food, our clothes, formed our bulwarks, opened our doors, and even maintained our climate control. The fal'Cie here were designed to care for this tower and its denizens. Denizens who have long since died out, and the fal'Cie, as you can see by the tower's condition, have suffered without anyone to care for."

"But why are they here?" Hope asked.

"I don't know." Raines took another sip of his tea and studied Hope's face. "I wish I did. I arrived here through ground floor entrance, which I found in the wooded canyon valley below. I fought my way up through several floors of decidedly unpleasant automata. When I reached these top levels, I was quite surprised to find them designed for human residency. I admit that I'm very much a product of Cocoon. I far prefer living here, being cared for by fal'Cie, to constantly wandering Gran Pulse in search of my next meal."

"There's no other fal'Cie here?" Lightning demanded. "Just the lower hierarchy?"

"Yes. And even their numbers are depleted." Raines gestured at the torchlit walls. "I think the lighting fal'Cie died before my arrival. It's difficult to interrogate these fal'Cie. Instead of answering my questions, they keep asking what I would like to eat or wear."

Lightning glared fiercely at Raines. "If you're lying to us--"

"Yes, yes. I'm sure I will find my head in my lap." Raines tore his gaze from Hope and onto Lightning. "I swear to you, I am no longer your enemy. You reminded me what it was like to have my own will. And I owe your two friends my very existence--since I cannot repay them, you are all I can repay."

"But why send the distress signal if you're so comfortable here?" Hope asked. He felt oddly neglected without Raines' attention fixed on him.

"Well, that I can explain." Raines set his empty cup back on the tray and rewarded Hope with his gaze again. "I was lonely here, with only fal'Cie to talk to--and fal'Cie no brighter than a well-trained sheep, at that. I hoped other humans might come here and stay with me."

"How convenient," Lightning spat, though she lowered her gunblade. "You want to stay here? Did you forget that the Cocoon fal'Cie only took care of us to use us as sacrifices to the Maker? What do you think these are here for? And what if a real fal'Cie threat shows up?"

"I've been here almost three years, and I haven't seen any other fal'Cie. I suppose it could be a set-up, but why? I doubt more than a score of people could fit in the tower's upper levels comfortably, and that's hardly a big enough sacrifice to warrant attention from the Maker."

"You could always be lying. Setting us up."

"Yes. I could be." Raines gestured at Hope's cup. "Your tea's gone cold."

Hope glanced down at his cup, wondering what to think of all this. Something seemed extraordinarily suspicious about minor fal'Cie caring for parts of a tower designed so humans could live comfortably, yet Hope could think of no reason why Raines would betray them again. Barthandelus was dead, and though he once fought as their enemy, Raines had crystallized because of his human passions--not his l'Cie Focus. Hope took a sip of the tea. It tasted just like the saju tea his father would drink for breakfast--bittersweet, yet gentle in flavor.

"If you like, you can stay here and see for yourself. You defeated Orphan and many beasts of Pulse. I'm sure you can handle anything, even if I should turn out to be a liar and a traitor once again," Raines said, his tone dour, though his gaze remained intent--and on Hope.

" _Gran_ Pulse." Lightning glared at Raines. "It's Gran Pulse." An insistence that they all kept, in honor of Fang and Vanille.

"Gran Pulse, then," Raines said with a nod.

Hope set his cup of tea down. "Lightning, why don't we call up Sazh? Tell him we can make some yute cookies for Dajh and sleep in a real building tonight?"

Lightning hesitated, then she nodded. "If you trust him, then," she said, before pulling out her communicator.

Hope smiled, realizing that Lightning trusted his intuition. That had to be his greatest accomplishment yet in life. He turned his smile on Raines. "Now, about those yute cookies."


	2. Chapter 2

"Yay, yute cookies!" Dajh clutched a few of the chocolate-covered treats to his chest, a grin splitting his face near in two. "And you said there wouldn't be any more yute cookies, Dad!"

Sazh glared at his own yute cookie, as if to chastise it for existing. "Yeah, well, because I said something, something else had to come along and prove me wrong. That's just how the universe works for me."

"There's so many amazing fal'Cie here," Dajh said, looking all around. "I can sense all of them."

"Yeah, real amazing," Sazh said as he took a bite from his yute cookie.

Dajh's response was inaudible, since he had four cookies in his mouth at once. Lightning just shook her head. She still had not eaten--or even ordered--dinner yet. She paced around the dining room like a sentry making her rounds.

"I still don't like this," she muttered as she passed Hope and Sazh. "I explored as much as I could, and I saw nothing, but it still seems wrong."

Sazh glanced up at her. "I know it's suspicious, but so was Barthandelus' tale of making Raines the Primarch. I mean, if the fal'Cie could just control us, all of us--Raines included--would never have been able to think for ourselves. I can buy Raines' story. Besides--" Sazh gestured at the fal'Cie dumbwaiter. "--it makes senses there's other fal'Cie from the lower hierarchy on Gran Pulse. Cocoon couldn't have had them all."

"You really think Raines is setting us up?" Hope asked her. He took a bite of his own yute cookie. He welcomed the sweet, rich taste as it crumbled in his mouth. Four years was a long time to go without one.

"Not exactly. It's just--" Lightning sighed and paused by Hope's chair. "I don't know what to feel after everything that happened. He did set us up once. And tried to kill us. Damn near succeeded, too."

"But if you were him, wouldn't you have tried to kill us, too?"

Lighting turned her face. "I guess I would have, then. He had no way of knowing how it would turn out. None of us did." She sighed. "Just be careful. This doesn't feel quite right."

"Fair enough," Raines said as he walked into the room. Hope jumped and, though he had said little, felt guilty as he wondered how much Raines had heard.

Lightning, however, did not look guilty at all. She just crossed her arms.

Raines glanced at Hope. "I trust you're all eating well?"

Dajh tried to say something, but instead sent cookie crumbles spraying across the table. Sazh sighed and wiped them from his face. "Dajh, I told you not to talk with your mouth full!"

Hope laughed. "I think Dajh wanted to thank you for the yute cookies."

"Don't thank me." Raines gestured at the dumbwaiter. "Thank it."

Lightning scowled, giving the impression she would like to thank the fal'Cie with a gunblade buried in its metallic face.

"Anyways, I've seen to your rooms. I'm afraid the décor is a bit lacking, but the beds are still quite comfortable, and the linens fresh. There's a bath in each one--just ask the faucet display for hot water, and the pipe fal'Cie shall provide."

Sazh grinned. "A real hot bath. I'm so tired of the best springs being guarded by crazy fal'Cie like Bismarck. Cold rivers have their uses--" He gave Lightning a sour look. "--but this old man needs a hot bath."

Dajh swallowed the last of his cookies. "Aw, man. I knew that bath stuff was gonna catch up to me," he said mournfully.

Raines blinked at both the Katzroys. "I, ah, see. Also, since I presume you'll want something to change into, just tell the closet fal'Cie your size and preferred colors, and they'll provide outfits when you open the door."

"So the fal'Cie all respond to our verbal commands?" Lightning asked.

Raines folded his hands behind his back and regarded Lightning. "Yes. It is as if this tower is the reverse of Cocoon."

"Hmm." The furrow on Lightning's brow deepened. A silence fell over the room, except for the sound of Dajh munching on his beloved yute cookies.

Not knowing what else to think or say, Hope stood. "I'd like to see my room, if you don't mind."

Raines nodded. "Follow me. When I return, I'll show the rest of you to your rooms." He spun on his heel and headed out.

Hope glanced back at his friends. "Light, please eat something."

"Don't worry," Sazh told Hope. "I'll get her to eat. I'll use logic and reason, and when that inevitably fails, Old Sazh will just have Dajh pester her all night." He smirked at Lightning.

Lightning's eyebrow quirked.

"I'm very good at pestering," Dajh said with redoubtable authority. "Mister Snow taught me everything about it."

"Yes, he certainly has been a bad influence on you," Lightning observed with a sigh. "Fine. You win." She stalked over to the dumbwaiter.

Hope laughed. "Enjoy dinner. I'm going to see about a bath and some sleep in a real bed. Good night, everyone." He headed out to find Raines standing in the hall, leaning against a wall with his arms crossed. Raines' expression seemed almost as dark as his hair, brows furrowed and lips pinched.

"For a guy who was supposed to be lonely, you're awful quiet," Hope said, coming to a stop a few feet from him. "You didn't even stay to have dinner with us."

Raines looked up and studied Hope. His gaze was as intent and warm as it was earlier. "I've always found people overwhelming. And yet, when I am alone, I crave their company. It's a strange condition, I suppose."

"Maybe, but I can understand."

"Can you?" Raines tilted his head and pushed himself off the wall. "Perhaps you can. Tell me, Hope, where is Snow Villiers?"

"Oh, he's back at our base camp with Team NORA and Serah. He married Serah right after Cocoonfall. They would have come with us, but Serah is pregnant and should rest."

"So they have a child? I never considered that we l'Cie could have children."

"Oh, well." Hope stared down at his shoes. "We're not sure if it's her or being a l'Cie, but she's miscarried a few times before. She's made it to her ninth month this time, though. That's much farther than before. We think this one will make it."

Hope wondered if Serah was still doing all right. When they were at camp, they all took to crowding around Serah and her growing belly, hoping this baby would make it. Her and Snow's child somehow felt like everyone's. It would prove that l'Cie were no different from other humans in the way that mattered. That they were part of the world and would leave their mark on it as people, not as tools of the fal'Cie. They all wanted that baby to live as much as Snow and Serah did.

"How remarkable," Raines commented. "And what of Sazh Katzroy's son? Why do you bring him out with you on these missions?"

"Oh, well, we don't always. But if we're not sure if something is dangerous or not, Sazh will wait with him on our airship until we give the all clear. But, you know, Sazh doesn't like leaving him behind, either. He misses him too much. Besides, he's kinda rambunctious, and that's a little too much for Serah right now."

"Of course." Raines nodded and beckoned with Hope. "Come, I'll show you to your room. It's the one next to mine, actually."

"Oh." Something about that statement made Hope stumble a bit, but he followed Raines down the winding hallway. Torchlight flickered over Raines as he walked, making him seem like an opera hero with his black cloak billowing behind him. Raines was tall--almost as tall as Snow, but far more compact. There was something neat and crisp about Raines, and his sharp features cut a fine profile. The contrast of his dark hair and clothes against his white skin struck Hope as rather alluring.

Hope blushed and looked down at his feet. As beautiful as Lightning, Serah, and Lebreau were, none captivated him. Men had always captured his imagination more than women, but he had few men to appreciate. Sazh's fatherly air left Hope cold. While Snow sometimes made his pulse race, he derailed all trains of thought in that direction, since Snow's affections obviously lay with Serah. For all their attractiveness, Yuj and Gadot were obviously more interested in Lightning and Lebreau than him. Cid Raines, however, had yet to present any obstacles to Hope's admiration.

"Here," Raines said, gesturing at a door. It creaked when he opened it, and he lit the torches in a room with a quick Fira spell. "I hope you find it comfortable."

Hope stepped in and looked around. Directly across the entrance stood a glass wall, which offered a spectacular view of the valley below, where Nenvan Wode's luminescent trees glittered under the moonlight. Against the glass wall, a stone bed lay low, covered in thick bedding and blankets. The room was not spacious, with low ceilings and limited floor space, but Hope could see a clean bathroom through an arched door. He also noticed the fal'Cie closet door Raines had mentioned. Like the dumbwaiter, the outer door was ornate, but rusted. Hope imagined its face was inside, as with the dumbwaiter. While the stones bore the stain of time, the room seemed far more comfortable than the log houses they lived in back at the base camp.

"It's really nice," Hope said, turning back to Raines. "I like it. Thank you."

Raines smiled. "Good." He paused and glanced away, then back at Hope. His hazel eyes picked up the fire light, appearing made of molten golden. The more he studied Hope, the more Hope felt like a piece of burning charcoal wrapped in skin. "How old are you now? You cannot be as young as you seem."

"I'm eighteen."

"I see." Raines paused and glanced to the side. His brow creased, as if considering something. Then he smiled a bit and took a step backwards. "I should show the others to their rooms."

Hope blinked as Raines abruptly walked out of the room, his booted heels clicking smartly on the stone floors. Then he sighed. He should have known better than to think that Raines might be interested in him. Even if he was an adult now--if only barely--men who preferred other men for companions were rare, at least in his experience. Hope wondered if his sexual preferences had doomed him to an unfulfilled existence. It was just as well, he supposed--sex was not a topic he cared to discuss with his friends.

With another sigh, Hope sat on the bed and peered out of the window. The canyon valley stretched as far as the eye could see on either side of the tower, glittering where the luminescent trees clustered above the canopy. Hope wondered why they had not noticed glass on the tower before, but concluded it might have been disguised. He wondered why fal'Cie had built this place, and then it occurred to him to ask the fal'Cie still present.

The bathroom's air seemed a little warmer than his room. Hope peered at the metal display by the tub. "Hot water, please," he said, as Raines had instructed.

With a groaning creak that sounded suspiciously like straining pipes, a rounded, genderless face appeared on the metal display. Within a second, it spat out hot water. This was certainly a lot more personal than the fal'Cie who had generated and pumped water through a pipes system on Cocoon.

"Hello, excuse me?" Hope said.

The fal'Cie glanced at him after it had filled the tub. In a bubbly voice, it asked, "Yes?"

"Um." Hope suddenly felt his knees wobble, and so he sat on the edge of the tub. Steam rose around him as he pondered the fal'Cie's face. The last fal'Cie he had spoken to was Barthandelus--or the part of Barthandelus that became Orphan. Hope still had nightmares where that powerful, metal grin would split open to rain punishment on him for his human impudence. "You're a fal'Cie."

"Yes," the fal'Cie responded, without noticeable sarcasm--or any emotion at all.

"I am a--or I was, a l'Cie."

The fal'Cie did not respond, and it blinked at Hope, metal eyes glittering under the torchlight of the bathroom.

"Why--why are you here?"

"To provide water to the tower's occupants."

"Yes, but why?"

"Because that is what I do."

"But why?" Hope insisted. This fal'Cie did not seem quite so clever as the others he had encountered. But then, aside from Barthandelus, he could not recall ever having a conversation with a fal'Cie. Did they all think like him? Or was the lower heirarchy different?

"Because the tower's occupants need water."

"That's it?" Hope stared at the fal'Cie. "Don't you know why you are here?"

"Yes."

"Oh, good. Why are you are here?"

"Because I produce the water that the tower's occupants require."

Hope blinked. "Um." This conversation seemed to be approaching nowhere at a considerable velocity. "But who put you here?"

"My master."

Hope did not like the sound of that. Was this some larger, smarter fal'Cie with an ulterior motive? "And who is your master?"

"The one who gives me orders."

"Okay, who do you take orders from?"

"Those who ask for water."

"What about fal'Cie?"

"When fal'Cie require water, I provide it."

"Why?"

"Because I provide the water for the tower's occupants."

Hope suddenly realized that he had just talked himself into a circle. The fal'Cie continued to stare at him. He rubbed his face. "Thank you for the water," he mumbled.

The fal'Cie's face disappeared without comment, leaving Hope alone. He stripped his clothing off and scrubbed himself clean with the soap provided on a little dish, then sat in the hot water to soak. It stung his skin and relaxed him, reminding him of a simpler, more luxurious time.

Hope realized, though he hated to admit it, that he had missed fal'Cie caring for him.

 

*************

 

Hope opened his eyes, though he could not say what woke him. Aside from ambient starlight, his room remained dark and empty. He crept out of bed, wearing the soft pajamas the closet fal'Cie had made him, and to the door. When he peeked out, only a few burning torches lit the empty hall.

Wary, Hope stepped out into the hall. The torchfire flickered and jumped from one unlit torch to another, as if running down the hall towards the end. Was this some function of the tower that Raines had failed to explain? Hope headed to Raines' door--after all, he owed them an explanation for strange activity, no matter what time of night.

When Hope knocked on the door, it fell open. Raines' room stood empty. Sheets lay rumpled on his bed. Hope backed up, alarmed. Was Raines up to something? Perhaps Hope had been wrong--perhaps Raines really was still their enemy. He raced down the hall, knocking on Lightning's, Sazh's, and Dajh's doors, but they all fell open to reveal empty rooms. Even the dining room appeared empty. Nothing moved, except for the torchfire.

"Hello?" Hope called. He called again and again, louder and louder.

Only silence replied to him. Hope wrapped his arms around himself, suddenly afraid. He had not been alone in years, and it was not a feeling he enjoyed. Knowing that he had friends--no, a _family_ \--helped make everything that had happened to him bearable. Without them, he felt just like the frightened boy who had watched his mother fall to her death four years ago.

Hope took a deep breath. He could not let despair conquer him again. He looked around, trying to get his bearings. The torchfire still ran towards the end of the hall, as if playing leapfrog upon the torches. Hope padded down the hallway, hoping the others had merely followed the torchlight, too. The stone felt cold beneath his bare feet, but his blood ran even colder. The moment he thought of blood, he started to choke on its heady and coppery scent.

The hallway opened up into a large room with vaulted ceilings and ornate metalwork laid across the stone. In the center of the room, each on a separate examining table, lay the bloody corpses of Lightning, Sazh, Dajh, and Cid. Their skin had been flayed, their organs exposed, their bodies dismembered. It seemed as if someone had used them for some depraved anatomy lesson. On each of their faces--or what remained of their faces--was a look of agony.

Hope stood in the doorway, gasping for breath, unable to move. "No. Please, no. No." A scream caught in his throat. Horror filled him like a living thing, twisting around his insides, coiling around his heart, and squeezing tight. His left wrist burned, and a strange l'Cie brand lit upon it, its design as ornate as the metalwork of the room.

"Welcome home, slave," boomed Barthandelus' voice.

Hope woke up, and the scream that had been caught in his throat burst out of him. He floundered in his sheets until he sat up. His scream faded as he stared around his dark and empty room. When he lifted his arm, his left wrist revealed only smooth human flesh.

The door banged open, and Hope screamed again, this time in surprise. Lightning glared at him from the doorway, fully dressed. "What happened?" she demanded, her gunblade in hand.

Dajh's face appeared behind her. "Hope, are you okay?"

"The hell was all that racket about?" Sazh demanded from over Lightning's shoulder. "Can't an old man get his beauty rest?"

Another voice joined the fray. "Did I hear someone screaming?" asked Raines, peering into Hope's room.

Hope smiled, and the unsettling memories of the dream faded. His blood warmed, and the vice around his heart loosened. He was not really alone--he had his family and friends around him the whole time. "I was--it was just a bad dream. Sorry for the noise. I'm fine now."

"I had a bad dream, too. You guys were gone, and there was only that Nabaat lady, yanking me along a white hallway for more tests," Dajh said with a yawn. He rubbed his eyes. "But I didn't scream like a girl."

Hope felt his face heat. Did Dajh have to be so honest all the time?

"There's no use rubbing it in." Sazh frowned. "I was having a really awful dream, too, until I heard you scream. I was watching--" He tilted his head back. "Never mind what I was watching. It was a nightmare, all right."

Lightning glared at Raines. "Why are they all having nightmares?"

Raines kept his gaze on Hope. "I think we're all quite wound up and traumatized enough to have stressful dreams. It's understandable."

"It's fine," Hope insisted. "I have nightmares all the time. We all do. This one was just--it felt more real. But I guess they all feel real when you have them."

Lightning frowned, but she knew it to be true--every one of them had nightmares more frequently than they cared to admit. "Would you like me to stay with you, Hope?" she asked, more gently than usual.

"Lucky Hope," Sazh quipped. "Maybe I should have screamed, too."

Lightning gave him a fierce glare that quickly silenced him.

Hope smiled. "It's really okay. Thank you, though."

Lighting took a break from glaring at Sazh to nod at Hope, then returned to glaring at Sazh.

"Well," Raines said, "we should all likely go back to sleep." He nodded at Hope. "Please, I'm right next door. Don't hesitate to wake me if you have another nightmare." He dipped his head, then headed back towards his room.

"Let us know first, Hope," Lightning said, keeping her gaze in the direction Raines headed. "I still don't like this place. I was exploring again, and I still saw nothing, but--"

"You haven't slept yet?" Hope asked. He sighed. Lightning was often so stubborn that she forgot to look after her health. "Please get some rest, Light. You need it as much as the rest of us."

Sazh took Dajh's hand. "Look, empty places always feel creepy to people. We should give it another couple of days, let Raines show us around, then head back to base camp to discuss our options with everyone else."

"And what if we get murdered in our sleep?"

"If you really think Raines is going to smother us with pillows while we're sleeping, why even stay?"

Lightning just frowned.

"Because," Sazh explained, "you want this to be as real as we do. We all took hope--no pun intended, Hope--from his crystallization. He made us believe we could be humans, not l'Cie--and he was right. He's free now, and so are we. Living here isn't so bad. There's nothing here but lower fal'Cie who are as dumb as Snow in a strategy meeting--"

"Almost as dumb," Lightning quipped. "At least these do as they're told."

"--almost as dumb as Snow, then, bless his simple heart. If we distrust everyone, we're going to be as miserable as the other Cocoon survivors. We have to move past that."

"And what if trusting people gets us dead?"

Sazh smirked. "I don't know about you, Lightning, but I haven't forgotten how to defend myself."

"Cheh."

Hope sighed. "Are you two going to flirt all night, or can I go back to sleep?"

That gave them pause, and Lightning and Sazh both glared back at Hope.

"We weren't flirting!" Lightning barked.

Sazh rolled his eyes.

Dajh yawned. "Can we go back to sleep? I need lots of rest for all the yute cookies I plan to eat tomorrow."

"At least he's honest." Lightning shook her head. "Good night, gentleman." She marched back off to her room.

"Sleep better, Hope." Sazh smiled and closed the door to Hope's room.

Hope sighed and lay back down on his sweat-soaked pillows. His nightmare had felt so real. He had smelt the blood, felt the cold stone beneath his feet. But a nightmare it had been, same as all the others. He closed his eyes and waited for sleep, forcing himself to think of nothing. Sleep did not come to him easily, but it eventually came.

This time, Hope dreamt he was submerged in darkness. Only the echoes of a lullaby filled his space, a clockwork lullaby sung by moving gears and pistons. The machine parts moved pointlessly, offering no mobility or momentum. Their only purpose was to provide a metallic lullaby that underscored his loneliness. There was no one to hear him, no one to see him, no one to speak to him. It was an unbearable existence, to be imprisoned in a darkness that stretched towards eternity. There would be no reprieve, no mercy, no reincarnation. He had done nothing to deserve this fate, yet it was thrust upon him all the same. This was a hell born not of sin, but of his very nature.

When Hope awoke to sunlight streaming in through his window, the memory of being abandoned in the dark, with nothing left to do but dream, remained fresh on his mind. And when he felt his cheeks, his tears were still wet upon them.


	3. Chapter 3

Hope went about his morning, finding the fal'Cie providers as compliant and vacuous as the night before. As he washed and dressed, he felt oddly on edge. Though his second dream may not have had the same horrific quality as his first, it left him disquieted and uneasy. To be able to do nothing but dream seemed a sad, empty fate.

"Good morning, Hope," Raines said as Hope entered the dining room the next day. He held a cup of steaming liquid with his long fingers. "Did you sleep any better?"

"Yes, thank you," Hope lied. He ordered breakfast and sat down, exchanging morning greetings with the others. Dajh shoved yute cookies into his mouth at an alarming rate, Sazh half-dozed over his cup, and Lightning glared at him over her jale bread. Hope could not tell if she was angry or not--Lightning's default expression often involved glaring.

Raines glanced at Dajh. "The young man appears to have a stomach made of iron."

"Didn't get that from me. I'm going into sugar shock just looking at him," Sazh quipped and took another sip from his cup.

Lightning turned her glare on Raines. "I had a nightmare last night, too, after I went to sleep."

Raines shrugged. "As did I. As I said, this seems a common affliction. Why worry about what can't be helped? They're only dreams. It must be coincidence."

"Coincidence," Lightning repeated, scowling.

"If you have a better explanation, I'm listening."

"Never mind. I'd like to see this place, please," she said, sounding as if the "please" might have hurt her to say.

"I'd be happy to show you." Raines stood. "Still don't trust me?"

Lightning did not respond, except to cross her arms.

"I understand. Really, I do." Raines stood. "I'd be suspicious of me, too. Now, if you'd like the tour, follow me."

The tour provided little of interest. The large library's books had rotted away. Many rooms with unknown purposes stood empty or filled with broken furniture. There were many bedrooms, all the same size and shape. A communal bath was so rusted and ruined that the water fal'Cie did not appear when summoned. The tower did not appear meant for permanent residency--it reminded Hope more of an inn than anything else.

The rest of the fal'Cie that Raines showed them were as simple as the water fal'Cie. None provided any better answers as to why they had been put in the tower, or what the tower had been built for. There was no dust, thanks to the environmental fal'Cie, but everything else seemed sad and broken. The entire tower stood as a mausoleum for a people long since dead and forgotten.

Raines stopped by a rusted door with the strange metalwork that proclaimed it a fal'Cie. "Through here are the lower levels. You don't need to see that. There are only monsters beyond this point--strong ones, too."

"Lots of Pulse power," Dajh said dreamily.

"I want to see for myself," Lightning proclaimed. "Sazh, take Dajh back upstairs."

Raines and Hope sighed almost at the exact same time. They exchanged a small smile. Lightning was a little stubborn for her own good. Hope stretched his gloves across his wrist and made sure his long hair remained tied back. He realized Raines watched him, but when he glanced over, Raines looked away.

Sazh frowned. "You sure you got this?"

"If we need you, we'll call," Lightning said.

"And I'll come, too, and save everyone with my great fire magic!" Dajh cried as Sazh ushered him back up the worn stone steps.

"It'll only cost everyone all their hair," Sazh muttered as he walked away.

Lightning glanced back at Hope and Raines, then faced the door. "Right," she said. "Open!"

With the sound of metal wrenching against metal and centuries of disuse, the fal'Cie rose from the floor, retreating into the ceiling above. Its small feminine face peered down at them with an arched brow before disappearing into the ceiling above. Its ascent took several minutes. Hope focused so much on the fal'Cie that he did not notice the score of cryohedrons bouncing towards them, growing bigger as they cast Blizzard spells on themselves, until they were almost upon him.

"Damn!" Lightning cried. "Close!" Apparently, Hope had not been the only one distracted.

Metal screeched, and the door started to lower--at the same leisurely pace as it had risen. The cryohedrons continued to advance. Hope slung Fire spell after Fire spell, pummeling their oncoming opponents with his magic. Apparently wishing to keep her distance, Lightning did the same, backing up as she cast. Raines alone dodged back and forth through the door, his dual-bladed gunblade alight with Flamestrike. Any cryohedron unlucky enough to get too close quickly burnt to component parts. When centurions lumbered into the hall after the cryohedrons, the fal'Cie door finally slid shut.

"They don't stop coming," Raines said, turning to Lightning. "There's some sort of generator down there that constantly produces Pulse automata." He glanced at Hope. "They're certainly easier to fight with three people, though."

"That's why we go out in teams. One person can be overwhelmed. Three can perform useful strategies." Lightning nodded and turned to the stairs. "It's safe!"

"Aw," Dajh said as he ran back down. "I was hoping to save people! You shoulda left me some bad guys to fight!"

Sazh sighed and rubbed his face as he descended the stairs. "Wonderful. My son is mini-Snow."

"Have you seen enough?" Raines asked Lightning.

"For now." Lightning started walking to the stairs. "After lunch, I want to see the communication array you used to put out the distress signal."

"As you wish. It's old and took me some time to repair, but still in working order," Raines said with a sigh.

"Lunch sounds good." Sazh took Dajh's hand and started back up the steps.

Dajh beamed. "Yay, more yute cookies!"

Lightning glanced back at Hope. "Coming to lunch with us?"

Hope shook his head. "In just a moment."

Lightning gave Raines a sharp glare, then continued to head up the stairs. "See you later, then." After a few moments, she, Sazh, and Dajh were out of sight, their footsteps fading as they grew more distant.

Hope smiled at Raines. "I appreciate you showing us around."

"It's nothing." Raines studied him, his gaze as intent as ever. "I'm happy to have people to show this tower around to. I'm sorry it's not more exciting."

"Well, the lower levels seem exciting. Did you explore them well?"

"Hardly at all. I was by myself and sorely taxed. I moved fast and barely had a chance to look around."

"So there's no elevator, huh? Not like at Taejin's Tower. It plays these really pretty musical notes when you ride it."

"A musical elevator?" Raines smiled. "How lovely. I miss music."

"Do you? So do I. I used to be able to play the piano, but it's been so long, I doubt I could play anything better than the fal'Cie's Lullaby." Hope frowned as he thought of the lullaby, which promised that the fal'Cie would take care of humanity for all time. "Not that I'd want to anymore."

"Who could blame you? I once took piano lessons as a boy, too. My father insisted upon it. It was the only artistic thing I was any good at--all things being relative, of course. I also took drawing lessons, sculpting lessons, painting lessons, and dancing lessons. The worst was dancing. During one of my lessons, I tripped over my own feet, clutched onto my partner's skirt, and wound up ripping it off when I went tumbling off the stage. My father's disappointment over my enlistment in the Guardian Corps was likely tempered by his relief that I would cease making a mockery of art."

Hope laughed. "You couldn't have been that bad. You look like you move well." He paused and tried not to let his face heat when he realized how his last statement could be taken.

"Oh, that's all military precision. No true grace to it, I'm afraid." Raines studied him. "I should think you were very good at the piano. You have the hands for it--very lovely, with long fingers."

There was no stopping Hope's face from heating after that. "Er. I was all right. Decent enough at recitals--I wasn't going to become professional, or anything. I was better at school."

"Ah, an intelligent boy. I'm sure you did your father proud."

"Yeah." Hope stared down at his boots, his heart feeling heavy at the mention of his father. "He couldn't complain about my grades. Just about the cost of all the books I liked to read."

"I am truly sorry about your father. I wish I could change things." Raines moved over to the wall, where a rectangular window looked out upon the dusty horizon, interrupted only briefly by the wooded Nenvan Wode nestled in the canyon valley. "I wish I had fought harder against becoming a fal'Cie puppet. That my men had not been lost. That your father had truly been saved."

"We all wish we could change things. We're just lucky that Fang and Vanille saved what they could." Hope leaned against the stone wall and studied Raines. Though nearly twice his age, Raines seemed easy to talk to. He resembled Lightning in many ways--or at least the old Lightning. He bore the same regret that she once had, but without her fierce anger. Instead, he bore his regret like a man walking in chains and fetters.

"Are you all right?" Hope asked.

"You'll leave tomorrow, I suppose." Raines glanced back. "And I'll be here, all alone. Again."

"You could always come with us."

"Back out there?" Raines glanced out the window suspiciously. "I am not made for living in the wild. No, I cannot leave this place."

"But Mr. Raines--"

"Call me Cid. Please."

Hope smiled a bit. "Cid, then. I was going to ask you what's more important--living here, alone, or out there, with us?"

"Why does it have to be mutually exclusive? Why can you not stay here, with me?" Cid shook his head and headed to the stairs. "We should go get lunch. I'm sure you're as hungry as I am."

Hope pushed himself off the wall, feeling as if something important were slipping from his fingers. He grasped at it. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."

Cid paused on the stairs and glanced back. "You didn't offend me. In any case, you're not the one who should be apologizing for anything."

"Then I won't apologize."

"Heh." Cid beckoned. "Come, let's go find some lunch before your companions suspect the worse about us."

"What's to suspect?"

Cid arched an eyebrow and smirked. "Quite a number of things. Their imaginations could run wild."

Hope did not think his friends' imagination could run any more wild than his own at the moment. He moved closer to Cid, intrigued, feeling very hot inside his own skin. He wondered if Cid was interested in him, and what he should do if he was. Should he kiss him? Touch him? What would Cid feel like? Beneath those black clothes, were Cid's muscles as hard-packed as Hope imagined? Would Cid's black hair feel as smooth as it looked? Wild thoughts of warm flesh being pressed against his, of hands exploring his own body, made Hope feel as if the room were closing in around him.

Rendered awkward by his own imagination, Hope pressed a hand to the wall and tore his gaze off Cid. He was so stupid, just a little boy after all. He had no idea what he was doing. Sex was a topic only vaguely discussed by his friends, almost a forbidden, mythical subject. Even Snow and Serah kept their sex lives a well-kept secret. Hope knew no more than he had at fourteen.

"Are you all right, Hope?" Cid moved closer, bringing the spicy scent of his cologne with him. His smile seemed close, a private expression, and he placed a hand on Hope's. Gunblade calluses had roughened his palm.

Hope jumped back, though the touch had not been unpleasant. He wondered what Lightning or Sazh or Snow or Serah or the rest of Team NORA would think if he suddenly expressed his desires, if they found out he let Cid touch him. Would they be as disgusted as most people of Cocoon had been by the notion of a sexuality that did not lead to human reproduction? He could not afford to lose his friends, especially not for something so ridiculous as a physical reaction.

"I'm fine." Hope licked his lips, his voice breaking a little. He tried to catch his breath, though he did not know when he had run short of it. "Just hungry."

Cid's smile faded, and he withdrew. "And I presume you mean just for lunch." His tone grew brusque.

"Right. What else would I be hungry for?"

"What any lonely man would be hungry for." Cid's tone grew more distant, and his gaze settled on the fal'Cie door, now quiet and inert. "But let us go find some lunch."

Breathing suddenly felt easier. Hope nodded and followed Cid back up to the dining room, keeping his gaze on the stone floor the whole way up.

 

*************

 

The rest of the day, Cid seemed distant. When he did glance at Hope, his gaze never stayed long. His fingers drummed on tables, windowsills, even walls, and his march seemed as stiff and rusty as the tower's fal'Cie. He spoke as politely as ever, but a glass wall seemed to lie between him and everyone else. No one seemed to notice it but Hope.

At dinner, Lightning and Sazh agreed it would be best to leave the next morning, after another night's rest in the tower. Cid offered no arguments. He just sat at the table and ate his food without glancing up. He was already alone, even when amongst others. Sazh eventually seemed to notice this and ended his conversation with Lightning about their plans to leave. Hope kept as quiet as Cid, feeling guilty about leaving him behind again, about pulling away earlier. Perhaps if he had not, he could have convinced Cid to join them.

Feeling more tired than he had in four years, Hope returned to his room, determined to bathe and sleep. Maybe in the morning, he would not feel as if he were abandoning Cid to the worst fate imaginable.

Hope stepped into his bathroom and asked for water. As the water fal'Cie filled his tub, he pulled his clothing off. He folded and set them to the side, then paused when he heard the unmistakable sound of his door opening and closing.

"Hello?" he called, reaching for a towel to cover himself. "Anyone there?"

Though he heard nothing, he could feel another presence--warm and watching him. He spun around, clutching his towel. Cid appeared in the doorway, his pale face flushed. "Hello."

"Cid." Hope swallowed, but found his mouth dry. More than the steam made his skin heat. He clutched his towel tightly. "Why are you here?"

"How old are you?" Cid shook his head and stepped into the bathroom, apparently uninterested in answering Hope's question. "You claim to be eighteen, but you act as skittish as a teenage girl. It's charming, I'll admit, but also frustrating."

"You should leave." Hope took a step back, but Cid kept moving towards him. "Please, leave."

"Why? I can tell you're interested." Cid pushed Hope back against the wall and stared down at him. "You look at me like a starving man eyeing a plate of food--as I imagine I must look at you." He cupped Hope's cheek. Hope shivered at the touch. "You are beautiful--but are you a man or a boy?"

Hope jerked his face away. He did not appreciate being treated as if he were some weak child. "Leave. Or I'll smack you with a Blizzaga like you've never seen before."

"So frustrating." Cid braced his hands against the wall, pinning Hope between them. "Why deny me? And yourself? Is it that you don't know anything? I could teach you--"

By then, Hope had built up enough power to sling the Blizzaga at Cid. Hope's towel slid from his naked body as he cast the spell. Cid flew back into the bedroom, frost spreading over his clothing, contrasting against the black. The cold of the spell chilled the entire room. Cid recovered quickly and dodged Hope's next Blizzard spell, then dashed towards Hope with all the speed required of a gunblader. Hope backed up, ready to cast a Protection spell on himself, but he paused, realizing he _wanted_ to be caught. Within seconds, Cid seized him around the shoulders.

Cid's expression grew more intent than any Hope had seen before, his hazel eyes alight as if by magic. Hope shuddered an internal fire lit inside him again, fueled by a strange desire to possess this man, a man so much like the woman Hope admired most. He cupped Cid's face and pulled him close, his reservations melting away. When their lips finally closed the distance and met, reality seemed to splinter.

The sensation of soft lips moving against each other and pliant tongues meeting mixed with a vague understanding of wetness and softness. The feel of Cid's callused hands sliding over Hope's body mixed with indefinable thrills arising from nowhere in particular. Cid did not feel nearly as warm as the heat inside Hope, as if the other man had lost substance as Hope touched him. Hope realized they were having sex, but could not recall when it began and when it ended. Shadowy ideas of how flesh fit against flesh mingled with clear imagery of actions Hope had not considered as possible before. The images bled together, spinning round and round, like an airship out of control.

Hope woke, tangled in his own blankets, sweat and his own seed staining his clothing. He panted and glanced around, trying to clear his muddled head, feeling as if someone had cast Fog upon him. He blinked. He distinctly recalled entering his room, taking an uneventful bath, and lying down upon his bed. After that--a dream? A dream of Cid appearing in his bath, demanding Hope's attentions?

A dream. Perhaps even a fantasy, but definitely a dream. A dream that had felt as real as his discovery of his friends all dead, only decidedly more pleasant. Hope sighed and requested fresh blankets before taking another bath. He wished he could walk in the fresh air--something he missed after four years of having plenty of it--but settled for stepping out into the hallway in a clean pair of sleeping pants and a blanket wrapped around his bare shoulders. The torches burned consistently this time, without dancing down the hall.

"You shouldn't walk around barefoot. You might catch a cold."

Hope jumped, then turned to find Cid in the doorway of his bedroom. He wore black pants, but no shirt. Hope tried not to admire the muscle definition of Cid's arms and chest--it was as sinewy as he had imagined. The memory of touching that bare chest in his dream still remained fresh in his mind.

"I--I'm sorry," Hope said, not knowing what else to say. He trained his gaze on the wall next to Cid.

"You apologize far too much. I should be apologizing. I was rude earlier." Cid smiled a bit, though the expression seemed half-hearted. "I'm afraid you disappointed me, and I've never been good at rejection."

"Oh." Hope cursed himself, wishing he did not still sound as awkward as his fourteen-year-old self. "Why are you awake?"

"I had a--" Cid frowned and crossed his arms. "--a strange dream."

"Really? What about?"

Cid's gaze grew intent. "You." Then he sighed and looked away.

"Oh." Hope licked his lips. "I dreamt of you, too. What was so strange about your dream?"

Cid worked his jaw. "You'd likely rather not know."

"No. I want to know."

Cid tilted his head, dark hair sliding over his pale skin. "Since you asked, blame no one for yourself if the answer makes you uncomfortable. When I have erotic dreams, they're generally fairly explicit. But this one was half-filled with underdeveloped yearnings and vague ideas of things I know to be concrete and pleasurable. It was dizzying in its confusion."

Hope choked on his own saliva, his chest seizing in embarrassment. "I--you--had an erotic dream?"

"It's not unusual for a man who hasn't had sex in over four years." Cid arched an eyebrow. "And I'd wager not unusual for a youth your age, either."

Hope backed up against the wall behind him and studied Cid. He seemed every bit as intent as he had before lunch, almost primal. Hope might have compared him to a rutting behemoth king, but Cid had far too much discipline for that analogy to work. He held his body too rigid, and he did not chase his mates across the Archylte Steppe. The real Cid was nothing like the forceful, boorish creature in Hope's erotic dream.

"When I have erotic dreams, they're not so concrete. They're just guesses. None of it ever feels so real, except for knowing that I want it." Hope took a deep breath, surprised that he even managed to say that much.

"Surely your companions have educated you? Lightning did not make you into a man, yet?"

"No!" Hope gaped, stupefied at the thought. "She's like my big sister. Besides, she--and I--well--and--"

"Ah. You're exclusive then. Only interested in other males."

The bareness of that statement gave Hope the shakes. "Please don't tell the others. I couldn't stand it if--"

"If what? They discover you only prefer men?" Cid blinked. "If they truly care about you, they shouldn't give a damn who keeps you company in bed."

"But still." Hope tugged his blanket around himself tighter. "I don't want to risk it. They're too important, and it really doesn't matter."

"What doesn't matter? Your sex drive?" Cid sounded and looked incredulous. "It's as much a part of you as your arm or your leg. I wouldn't recommend cutting any of them off."

Hope glanced up. "Didn't you keep it a secret?"

"In Cocoon? Of course. We can thank the fal'Cie for nurturing a homophobic society in order to force people into heterosexuality--after all, shepherds encourage breeding of the sheep so they may slaughter their lambs. But just because I kept my sex life a secret does not mean I enjoyed presenting myself as something I am not."

"But you still kept it a secret."

"Yes, but I did not think I would have to any longer." Cid stepped forward and extended his hand. "You helped destroy Barthandelus and Orphan and freed humanity from fal'Cie shackles. Why do you willingly allow their fetters on your sexuality to still bind you?"

Hope stared at Cid's hand. Cid kept his nails trimmed and clean, giving his wide masculine hand a refined appearance. Hope suddenly realized how cold the stone beneath his feet really was--a dramatic contrast to how hot he felt. He peeled the blanket off his shoulders, finding its extra warmth unbearable. "What do you want from me?"

"The same thing I hope you want from me. I won't tell the others. That's something you should reveal to them, not I."

"I don't--" Hope's mouth felt dry, and he took a moment to take a deep breath, though his heart still pounded against his chest. Fear swiftly evolved into excitement. "--I mean--"

"You don't have to explain anything, Hope. We all have first times. I'd be honored if you allowed me to yours." Cid's hand remained extended.

Hope hesitated for a moment, then took it.

"You are beautiful," Cid murmured, and pulled Hope into his room.

Hope stared up at him. In only the starlight of his room, Cid's coloring appeared starker than ever. "So are you," Hope whispered.

Even though Hope could not be sure where to place his hands at first, Cid seemed remarkably patient with Hope's fumbling. He let Hope explore as he desired for a while, until he became rather insistent about returning the gesture. Cid taught him without words, his actions and movements often leaving Hope breathless and enflamed. When Cid finally took him, Hope no longer worried where to place his hands. He knew what he wanted. The pain of penetration quickly faded, leaving behind only the memory of pleasure. Cid lay against him when they were done, his breath evening out, limbs still tangled with Hope's.

Hope closed his eyes and rested against the pale man next to him, sated as a behemoth after a successful hunt. When he slept, he dreamed again--a dream of helpless dreaming, of being abandoned, bereft of freedom and purpose. He dreamt that only a clockwork lullaby offered him companionship in his dark and empty prison. It was not until Hope awoke that he realized he had dreamt the same achingly lonely vision as the night before.


	4. Chapter 4

The fal'Cie provided Hope with clothes to fit him even in Cid's room. As Hope pulled them on, he winced a bit. His activities with Cid had left him sore in rather sensitive areas.

Cid seemed to guess the source of Hope's pain. "Don't worry about it. You'll get used to it. Use more of that cream, if you need it." He was already half-dressed, which Hope considered a shame. But he supposed that having sex twice before their bath was sufficient for the morning.

"Um." Hope sighed and studied Cid. He had never noticed Cid's ears seemed large for his head before. They presented an odd contrast to Cid's otherwise sharp and refined features. Hope found that oddly attractive, a sort of distinctive flaw that set Cid apart. Somehow, sleeping with Cid made him even more alluring. "Am I supposed to thank you?"

"No more than I should thank you." Cid chuckled and bent over to press his lips against Hope's neck. "It was lovely. Much better than my dream. Especially since foreplay didn't involve you casting Blizzaga on me."

"Blizzaga?" Hope's brow furrowed. "That's odd. I dreamt that I cast Blizzaga on you last night, too."

"Did you?" Cid paused, his shirt half-buttoned. He frowned. "What an odd coincidence."

"Yeah. You were really aggressive in my dream, too. Not like you."

"Yes." Cid finished buttoning in his shirt. "I remember not acting like myself."

"I was--I don't know. Not much like me, either."

"No." Cid tilted his head. "You were more… wanton."

"I guess because it's a dream, you do things you wouldn't normally do. More feelings, less thought."

"Possibly."

"This is the second time we've had similar dreams. What does it mean?"

Cid patted Hope on the shoulder. "I don't know, but they're only dreams. There's little sense in worrying about it. Let's go eat breakfast."

"All right."

After how long it had taken them to finally dress and leave, Hope expected to find a very impatient Lightning and Sazh. Instead, all he saw in the dining room was Dajh, eating a bowl of hoy porridge--with the requisite plate of yute cookies to the side, awaiting consumption.

"Hi, Dajh." Hope approached him as Cid went to order tea from the dumbwaiter fal'Cie. "Where's your dad?"

"Hi, Hope!" Dajh gave him a brilliant smile. "I guess Dad is still sleeping with Miss Light."

Hope's brain refused to process that. "So, where's your dad?"

Dajh laughed. "I told you. He's in his bedroom with Miss Light. I guess they must be real tired. You know, I had the best dream last night. I dreamt that my mom came back, and I saved everyone from a long gui with my awesome fire spells. And then I got to eat all the yute cookies in the entire world, without ever getting full up."

Cid placed the tray of tea on the table and eyed Dajh. "Quite the dream you had there."

"Lightning is in Sazh's bedroom? How did that happen?" Hope asked.

"I should hope the boy wouldn't know," Cid remarked.

"Oh, I know. I woke up from my dream and went to go tell Dad about it, but he said he couldn't talk, because he wanted a cold shower. I don't know why anyone would want one of those, but he said he needed it. But before he could go have it, Miss Light walked into Dad's room and told me to go back to my room. She closed the door behind me and stayed there all night. I dunno what they were doing that was so interesting, though."

"We'll tell you when you're older," Hope found himself saying, mindlessly repeating something his parents had often told him. While he had always suspected Lightning's and Sazh's mutual interest, the reality of them doing anything about it seemed slightly stranger than the idea of Snow putting Serah's underwear on his head and declaring himself the Moon Princess of Gran Pulse.

By the time Hope and Cid finished their breakfast, Lightning and Sazh both walked in. Lightning seemed the same as she stalked over to the dumbwaiter to demand breakfast. Sazh, however, was all smiles when he sat down at the table.

"Good morning," he chirped.

"Morning," Hope replied. "Slept late?"

"Oh, yeah. Did a whole lot of sleeping, for sure."

Lightning sat down without comment and started to eat. She glared at Cid. "This place is very suspicious. The first night, we all have nightmares. Last night, Sazh and I had the same dream."

"Yep," said Sazh. "The same dream." He seemed quite pleased about this.

"Really?" Cid's brows furrowed.

"So did we," Hope said.

Sazh's eyebrows shot up. "Really? The exact same kind? Because Lightning and I dreamt of--OW!" He glared over at Lightning and rubbed his shin.

"Was it a good dream?" Lightning demanded. "About something you've wanted for a while?"

"Hey, really?" Sazh asked her with a grin.

Lightning glared at him for a moment, then glared back at Cid. "Well?"

"Rather," Cid remarked.

Hope's face heated, hoping Lightning and Sazh would not guess the nature of his dream, though he supposed there was little he could do about that now.

"I had the best dream, too," Dajh commented. "I can't wait to grow big enough to be a hero. I don't mind when we all have good dreams. I wish we had good dreams all the time."

Hope decided to steer the conversation to a safer topic. "My second dream was the same as one I had the night before. I dreamt that I was, well, dreaming. But I was dreaming because that's all I could do. I was alone, in the dark, trapped there."

Lightning stood. "This cannot be a coincidence. Bad dreams the first night, and shared good dreams last night? And Hope having the exact same dream twice in a row? There has to be a reason for this." She glared at Cid.

Cid crossed his arms. "I don't know."

"Don't you?"

"I told you that I don't. I have dreams every night, sometimes good, sometimes bad, but don't we all? No one has ever stayed here with me before the four of you arrived."

"How convenient."

Hope crossed his arm, suddenly finding Lightning's suggestions more grating than before. "Why do you have to be so suspicious?"

"Because I'm trying to protect all of us," Lightning said fiercely, turning her glare on Hope. "Why are you suddenly so protective of him? Did you forget what he did?"

"Yes. And we made as many mistakes as he did back then, so why can't you forget it?"

Cid held a hand out to Hope, but kept his gaze on Lightning. "Look, your concern is warranted. I won't deny that. But I swear to you I don't know anything about this. They're just dreams."

"Coincidences don't work like this."

"Maybe it's because of that big Pulse fal'Cie I feel downstairs," Dajh said cheerfully, and munched on a yute cookie.

Everyone paused and stared at him.

"The Pulse fal'Cie downstairs?" Sazh asked blankly.

"I knew it!" Lightning whirled on Cid and glared at him.

Cid shook his head, looking horrified. "I didn't know. I swear I didn't know."

"Why didn't you tell us before?" Sazh demanded, knocking over his drink as he turned to Dajh.

Dajh shrugged. "I did tell you that there was lots of Pulse power and fal'Cie here."

"We thought you meant the ones who live up here!"

"Oh. You did?" Dajh seemed thoughtful as he munched on his cookie. "That's funny."

"You are never going to eat another yute cookie so long as I live! You tell us when you sense a big Pulse fal'Cie!" Sazh snatched the plate of cookies away, his expression hot enough that even Hope felt chastised. "That thing could have hurt us!"

Dajh jumped up, his eyes and mouth wide. "But it never moves! And there's Pulse fal'Cie everywhere. Most of them never bother us unless we bother them, like Titan and Bismarck. Some of them we even use to go places, like Atomos."

"You still should have told us!"

"Please don't take the cookies away!" Dajh's voice trembled.

"I want to see it," Cid said, loud enough that everyone turned to him. His expression seemed more serious than Hope could recall since finding him in this tower. "I've lived here three years. I need to see this fal'Cie."

"But you can't go alone, not downstairs." Hope turned to him, alarmed. "I'll go with you."

"Like hell I'm letting you two go alone to face a fal'Cie. I'm coming with you," Sazh said, taking a step forward.

"So will I." Lightning checked her gunblade. "Dajh, looks like you'll be staying up here until we get back. Be careful."

Dajh rubbed his face, looking miserable.

"We're having a talk when I come back, Dajh." Sazh glared down at him. "You sit right here and think about how you endangered everyone by not telling us everything."

"It's not fair!" Dajh buried his head in his arms.

Sazh just sighed and rubbed his face.

"You don't have to be so hard on him. It's partially our fault for not listening," Lightning said, her tone surprisingly gentle. "I'll help you talk to him later."

Sazh glanced up and smiled at her. "Thanks."

Lightning nodded and then glanced at everyone. "All right. Let's go."

 

*************

 

The lighting did not work in the lower levels, either, but they had sufficient enough sunlight pouring through the windows to allow them to explore. The lack of an elevator in the tower forced them to walk down the stairs the entire way. Hope did not relish the thought of climbing back up. It would be worse than even the horde of enemies they had defeated thus far. The more they descended, the more Sazh glanced up, and Hope imagined that Sazh was not relishing the return climb, either.

"I hope he'll be all right," Sazh murmured. Hope should have known. Sazh was always more concerned about Dajh than himself.

Lightning progressed down the stairs, leading the way. "I'm sure he will be. Let's worry about us more right now. So far, we've fought two tyrants, three immortals, twenty-seven cryohedrons, and--"

"--a picochu in a sunpear tree?" asked Cid drolly.

Hope and Sazh immediately laughed at the reference to the old holiday song.

"We haven't fought any neochus down here, much less their picochus," Lightning retorted with a glare.

Hope laughed again. "It's a joke, see. Don't you remember the song it came from? Starts with a picochu sitting in a sunpear tree and ends with twelve borgbears a dancing?"

"It wasn't very funny."

Sazh patted her on the shoulder. "Sure, it was. You just have an underdeveloped sense of humor. But let's get going. With our luck, there will be a neochu down here, and without Vanille, killing those things is like trying to carve a statue from a mountain." He sighed. "Sure do miss those Gran Pulse girls, and not just because they carried a bucket of badass under each arm."

Lightning nodded. Two days ago, Sazh touching her shoulder might have earned him a punch in the face. Now she only nodded and continued down the stairs. Hope wondered about those dreams--it seemed like everyone had expressed their innermost desires during them, feelings uninhibited by the self-discipline of thought. Lightning and Sazh had dreamt of each other, he and Cid had dreamt of each other, and Dajh had dreamt of his mother returning and becoming a hero. How these desire-fulfilling dreams connected to their previous dreams, Hope did not know. He knew even less why he, and only he, had the same recurring dream of dreaming. None of this made much sense. Why was this fal'Cie sending them dreams? What did it want?

"Look alive!" Lightning cried, pausing on the stairs. "Pulsework gladiators, near twenty--and a pulsework champion!"

"Oh, fun," Sazh said.

Lightning glanced back. "Raines, you and I should attack the champion--high strength is the key to defeating them. Sazh, you and Hope take care of the gladiators," she barked, then descended the stairs.

"I don't suppose my former rank as Brigadier General of the Guardian Corps means anything to her?" Cid asked, pausing for a moment.

Hope grinned. "Not in the slightest."

"Good to know." Cid shook his head and headed after Lightning, his dual-bladed gunblade glinting under the sunlight pouring in from a nearby window.

Hope slipped out his Nue from the back of his belt. Sazh lifted his Total Eclipses and nodded. Together, they burst downstairs and started pummeling the pulsework gladiators with magic. The gladiators' metal bodies gave them incredible resistances, but not when the attacks came fast and furious. The gladiators jerked towards them, their metallic feet clanging upon stone. Hope quickly shifted between defensive and offensive magic, keeping both him and Sazh alive long enough to stagger their enemies and finish them off.

Nearby, Lightning and Cid fought the champion in a dazzling display of gunblading. Hope would have liked to admire their acrobatics, but it was hard work just keeping his eye on the gladiators surrounding him and Sazh. Within a minute, Lightning and Cid joined the fray and helped them clean up the gladiators. Together, they decimated the gladiators in seconds. Hope's fingers ached from the amount of magic he had poured out. He folded up his Nue and placed it in his belt so he could stretch them.

Cid tucked a lock of dark hair behind his ear and set a hand on Hope's shoulder. "I can't get over how much easier it is to fight these things in a team."

Lightning stretched her arms. "That's why we never fight alone." She glanced back at them. "Let's keep going."

Everyone followed her further down the stairs, but with only one inattentive centurion facing the window, they hugged the walls and avoided battle. When they reached the next set of stairs, Hope felt a thrumming of power beneath his feet. "I think we're getting close."

"Yes," Lightning said. "I can feel it." She glanced at Cid. "You didn't feel this before?"

"No. There was no power here before. Only the automata worked." Cid frowned. "I wonder if I woke it up by coming here."

"Sounds like you did." Lightning scowled and continued to descend. When they reached the next floor, there was only a corridor, for most of the area was walled off. There was no window to light the floor, but they were not completely in the dark. Power ran through the ornate designs on the wall here, lighting them like magical runes--or the power conduits to a fal'Cie chamber.

The patterns of light started to burn brighter in the center, illuminating an entrance. As they approached, mechanical sounds grew distinct, reminding Hope of the notes he had once played upon the piano. It formed a song, similar to the fal'Cie lullaby, but its pacing skewed towards a slower rhythm. The lullaby sounded quiet and eerie, made even more so by the clockwork machinery that sung it. It crawled down Hope's spine, leaving chills in its wake, and hung in the air, as invisible as a ghost. Hope shivered, suddenly recognizing the clockwork lullaby from his dreams.

"And this?" Lightning asked, her voice hushed. "You never saw this?"

Cid shook his head, and he appeared paler than usual. "None of this lit up before. I just thought this was a floor, like all the others. The rest of the levels reaching to the bottom are walled off like this, too. It was so dark I couldn't see, and the automata pursued me. I had no idea." He turned to Hope. "You believe me, don't you?"

Hope drew closer to Cid. "Yes, I do." He turned to Lightning. "I do."

Lightning only nodded. "All right, Hope," she said.

Sazh touched the lighted door. "Doesn't look like there's a way in. This is shut fast, sealed as tight as a--" A loud hissing cut him off, and the door slowly rose. A fal'Cie's face gazed at them sleepily before disappearing into the ceiling. Beyond the open door, a large black room yawned.

"Well, some things never change, do they?" Sazh quipped as he checked his guns. "The universe is still out to prove me wrong."

Lightning gripped her gunblade so tight her knuckles whitened. "Right." She nodded, likely to herself, and headed through the door with Sazh at her side.

Hope glanced at Cid, wondering if he was afraid. Cid did not appear afraid, but he also turned to Hope. He squeezed Hope's shoulder. "Are you ready, Hope?"

"Of course," Hope whispered. "I have my friends and you with me. I can't lose."

Cid smiled at that and squeezed Hope's shoulder again. He pressed a button on the side of his gunblade handle and split the dual-bladed weapon into two separate blades. He flicked the blades to lock them into position, as Lightning often did, then walked through the door at Hope's side. They came to a stop beside Lightning and Sazh. All four of them gazed up at the towering fal'Cie.

The fal'Cie rose from a hole in the center of the floor, and Hope suspected its roots were embedded at the bottom of the tower. It took some time to let the image soak into Hope's mind and process just what he was seeing. The fal'Cie seemed composed of both white and black metal. Its crystal glittered under the diffuse silver light of the room, rather like stars in the night sky, but Hope found it difficult to make out its features. They seemed to blur and shift constantly, and its large, dark wings provided the only visible constant. It rocked in place, producing the clockwork lullaby. A sort of couch lay before the fal'Cie, made of the same intertwining white and black metal.

"Is it asleep?" Hope whispered.

"I sure as hell hope so," Sazh replied, shifting from foot to foot.

Lightning stretched out her gunblade. "Let's finish it off before it wakes."

"Why?" Hope asked.

Lightning, Sazh, and Cid all turned to study him. Hope swallowed and repeated himself. "Why? It hasn't hurt us."

"Let's not give it the opportunity," Lightning snapped.

Hope lowered his boomerang. "It's only sent us dreams. One was horrible, but the other wasn't. If anything, I think it gave us the--" He paused, searching for the right word. "--the motivation we needed to take what we wanted. Why do we have to kill it?"

"The fal'Cie are our enemy, or did you forget?" Lightning swung her arm out. "They tried to sacrifice us for the Maker. They don't care about us."

"That's true, but this one hasn't." Hope turned to study the sleeping fal'Cie. It seemed oddly beautiful. He had always found fal'Cie strange or terrifying before--never beautiful. "Both nights, after the nightmare and the fantasy, I dreamt that I was trapped in the dark, alone, with nothing left to my existence but dreaming. Maybe we should try to talk to it."

Cid lowered his gunblades and studied Hope. "He has a point. I've been here for three years, and other than very vivid dreams--one of which gave me the courage to send out that distress signal--it has never tried to harm me. We should communicate with it."

"How do you propose to do that?" Sazh asked. "Poke it to see if it wakes up? Splash cold water in its face?"

Hope walked up to the metal couch. "It's dreaming. So I think we have to talk to it there."

"You're going to talk to it in a dream?" Lightning moved closer to him. "Hope, what if it tries to hurt you?"

Hope glanced back at her. "Then I guess you'll just have to protect me."

"We will. No harm will come to you." Cid walked next to Hope and stood by the couch. He held out his hand.

Hope smiled and took Cid's hand before lying on the couch. Immediately, a sense of drowsiness fell over him, as if an invisible blanket had been draped over him. "Thanks." He closed his eyes and soon drifted off into sleep, aware only of Cid's callused hand around his.


	5. Chapter 5

A field of red flowers with dark blue centers stretched out around Hope as far as the eye could see. He vaguely recalled them from his Botany classes: poppies. The pollen of these flowers could create a sleep drug. Cocoon fal'Cie had planted and farmed them, along with other plants, for medicine. His mother had stolen some and planted them in their garden for their beauty and color. Hope wondered what she might have thought of this field. He wished she was there to see it.

The night was cool, and Hope shivered. Only his hand--the hand that Cid had clutched when he fell asleep, remained warm. He glanced down at his hands and recognized the white gloves, though he had not worn them in four years. A quick study of his clothing revealed the familiar orange and yellow coat and green pants he had worn when condemned as a l'Cie. He grabbed the back of his hair, and it felt short and feathered again. Somehow, he appeared as he had four years ago.

A wilted willow tree stood in the distance, the only object that Hope could make out. He made his way towards it, trampling flowers with every step. Something sat beneath the willow tree in the shape of a human, but the translucent image constantly shifted and defied description. Wings buzzed behind the image, so fast that all appeared a blur behind it. Hope stopped a few feet from the tree.

"Hello," he said. Even his voice had reverted to that of a boy.

The winged phantom suddenly solidified, and Nora Estheim sat at the foot of the wilted willow. Drooping branches casting dark shadows upon her. When she looked up, it was not with the eyes of Hope's mother, but with shining crystal.

"You are a l'Cie, but not a l'Cie," said the woman who was not his mother. "I suppose that makes you human."

Hope nodded, his mouth feeling so dry that his throat hurt. It hurt to look at this woman, yet he could not look away. She appeared almost exactly like his mother, right down to her lovely face and white-gold hair. Only she wore black clothing, as if to cloak herself in night. Hope ached to embrace her, to keep her close, but resisted. This was not Nora Estheim.

"I had hoped you would visit me. It has been many years since a human slept upon my couch. I have missed the dreams."

"Who are you?"

"I am Morpheus. I am sorry for the nightmares, but I had difficulty trying to understand you. I hope you enjoyed the fantasy, at least." Morpheus gestured at her form. "I hope you do not mind that I have taken the form of your mother in order to communicate with you."

"I-- " Hope did not know how to respond, so he tilted his head in question. "You sent me other dreams. Why me?"

"You have a unique gift. The gift of understanding. The others' gifts were insufficient. I do not require the endurance of Cid Raines, the strength of Claire Farron, the compassion of Sazh Katzroy, or the bravery of Dajh Katzroy. I require only the understanding of Hope Estheim."

"Understanding? But I don't understand anything. Why are you here? What do you want from us?"

Morpheus smiled. "You ask many questions. I will try to explain as best I can." She waved a hand, and she and Hope appeared below the empty shell of Cocoon. Somewhere within its towering base slept the crystal forms of Fang and Vanille.

Wondering what this meant, Hope glanced at Morpheus. "Your kind tried to kill us. All of us."

"And ourselves. My brethren only succeeded in the latter." Morpheus blinked her crystal eyes. "Those fal'Cie who went to Cocoon were those tasked by the Maker to care for humans. Those who made food, built cities, controlled the weather--they all continued these same tasks, but inside Cocoon. The fal'Cie who remained on Gran Pulse are those responsible for the land--that is, except for me."

"And what are you responsible for?" Hope asked, though he was not entirely sure he wanted to know.

"Inspiring humanity through their dreams. Through dreams, I can teach them the fear that my brethren used to control you. Through dreams, I can allow humans to express their desires without inhibition. Through dreams, I can communicate a Focus to my brethren's l'Cie. When the Cocoon fal'Cie left for their new home, my purpose dwindled, especially as the humans soon died off. I am now no longer needed."

Hope did not know what to think, much less what to say. As he tried to understand, Morpheus waved her hand again. They appeared in the dining hall of the tower, surrounded by a dozen humans, all wearing strange clothing similar to Fang and Vanille's. They talked amongst each other, eating the same sort of food that Cocoon citizens had once enjoyed. The dining hall seemed new and whole, with no rust upon the dumbwaiter fal'Cie. None of the people reacted to Hope and Morpheus--one even walked through them, as if they proved no more an obstacle than smoke, and continued out of the room.

Morpheus stared at the people with unmistakable longing. "This tower is the First Ark. Both humans and l'Cie would quest through my tower to gain strength. Once they reached the top, they would rest here in hopes that I might send them a dream that would illuminate their purpose in life. For the l'Cie, I needed only explain their Focus. But for the humans, I fear I was always doomed to fail."

"Why?"

"A human's purpose is varied and complex, a dynamic and elusive concept, both individual and communal. I could only show them a small part of their purpose. Often, I was wrong. I knew this when some of the humans returned, desperate for another dream--a dream that could show them the way. Imagine how many others that I failed who never returned, living their lives according to a false idea of who they should be. It is no wonder the people of Gran Pulse died out. I helped mislead them."

"And we let your kind mislead us," Hope said. "We were as desperate for fal'Cie to take care of us as fal'Cie are for the Maker to do the same for them. It's hard to take responsibility for ourselves, isn't it?"

"It would appear to be a mutual flaw in both our systems."

Hope smiled. "I can see why they never brought you to Cocoon."

"Can you?" Morpheus smiled--a knowing sort of smile that Nora had never expressed. Morpheus' smile was older, sadder, more tired. "I knew you would understand, Hope Estheim. Please do not think too ill of my kind. We remember the Maker's presence, and our desire for that presence to return consumes us. We fal'Cie are simple creatures, much unlike human beings. We only want one thing at a time."

The image of the dining hall vanished, and Hope now stood on a mountain of rubble. He glanced around his miserable surroundings and quickly recognized the remains of his home. Palumpolum was a sea of lifeless stone and metal. The sea had dried up, and only the waning sunlight peering through the large hole in Cocoon offered dim lighting. The air was stale and still. No life remained inside Cocoon. It was a graveyard, a monument to Hope's childhood. His parents, his life, his entire world--they had all died with Orphan in the Fall.

"What do you want, Morpheus?" Hope asked quietly.

Morpheus gazed around the rubble. "I wish to join my brethren in death. I have been abandoned twice. The first time by the Maker, and the second by my own kind. I have no purpose. Perhaps I never did. I am tired and obsolete. My dreams have become meaningless."

"Your fantasy dream helped us express what we wanted. Cid and I--and Lightning and Sazh--"

"I only sped along a natural process. You did not truly need me for that. Please, destroy me."

Morpheus' request filled Hope with pity. For the first time in his life, he wished to console a fal'Cie, but there was no solace for this lonely creature. In a sense, the fal'Cie were as much slaves to their existence as l'Cie were. And Hope knew the pain of a l'Cie, of being bound to one purpose and one purpose only, at the expense of all else. It was a fate he would not wish on anyone--not even on a fal'Cie. Though he could not condone their actions, he could understand the desperation that had fueled their attempts to woo back the Maker.

"All right," Hope promised with a whisper.

Morpheus smiled. "Perhaps if all the fal'Cie are destroyed, the Maker will return. We could be the sacrifice."

"But then no fal'Cie would ever be able to enjoy divine presence."

"I do not think we were ever meant to." Morpheus looked across the wreckage of Cocoon. "I have always been envious of humanity. The dreams I fashioned for your kind were the only things I ever enjoyed about my existence."

"I'm sorry."

"As am I."

Hope bowed his head.

"Good night," Morpheus said, and her appearance blurred again. Dark wings spread out behind her and began to buzz to the time of her clockwork lullaby.

As the scenery melted away to nothingness, Hope woke. Cid's hand still clutched his.

 

*************

 

Destroying Morpheus took a lot of power, but little strategy. The four l'Cie pummeled the dreaming fal'Cie with attacks and magic, but it never once fought back. Soon, the fal'Cie fell, and the clockwork lullaby ended. All it left behind was a heap of scrap metal and smoke.

Hope tucked his Nue back into his belt as he surveyed the wreckage. He felt an ache in his heart that could only be called sympathy. It pained him that he could not share this sentiment--he knew the others would not understand. As Morpheus had said, understanding was not among their particular gifts.

They all spun around as the fal'Cie door crashed to the bottom and tipped over, still and lifeless. "The power's out," Lightning said as the lights cut out. "Killing Morpheus must have taken out all the lower fal'Cie, too. It must have been their power supply."

A sudden flare of light filled the room, and Hope turned to see Cid holding a burning torch. "Good thing I came prepared for any eventuality," he said drolly.

Sazh started walking out. "Let's hurry back. I don't like leaving Dajh all alone."

Lightning marched out after Sazh. Cid placed a hand on Hope's back, and they walked out together. As they approached the stairs, they could hear the sound of pulsework soldiers shuffling around on the floor above.

"The automata regenerated even without the fal'Cie," Lightning observed. "Be alert."

"Wait." Sazh paled. "The automata aren't affected by the lack of fal'Cie?"

Cid shook his head. "Likely not. The power was out when I first arrived, but they were very much active."

Sazh snapped his head up. "That means these things are still up there--and there's no fal'Cie left to bar them from entering the levels where my son is at!" He took off like a thunderbolt--Hope had never seen him run so fast.

"Not good!" Lightning cried, and took off after him.

Cid and Hope dashed after them, moving as fast they could. They slid past enemies, running close to walls to avoid detection and outrunning them if necessary. Hope's chest soon burned from the effort, but he refused to let that slow him down. He did not know what had happened in the upper levels, but he prayed Dajh was still safe. If any of Hope's family was lost--any single one--he did not know what he would do. No one could take such a loss, much less of Dajh, who could put a smile on anyone's face even on the blackest of days.

When they reached the fal'Cie door that had separated the upper and lower levels, they found it had crashed to the floor and tipped over, just as the one guarding Morpheus's chamber had. Sazh wasted no time and ran inside.

"Dajh!" Sazh cried as he ran. "Dajh! Where are you?"

They all followed Sazh, calling Dajh's name. With every step they took, Hope's heart felt a little heavier. Cryohedrons blocked their path, and Sazh hurled attacks at them so vicious that Hope hardly recognized the kindly man who had been as close to a father to him as any since his own had died. Between the four of them, the cryohedrons crowding the area fell in seconds.

"Dajh!" Sazh roared when he reached the main level. One of Dajh's shoes, burnt to a crisp, lay in the hall. The sight of it seemed to make Hope's heart stop. Sazh sunk to his knees, hands shaking. He did not speak when he took the shoe into his hands, and his eyes filled with tears.

Lightning covered her mouth and trembled. Hope felt nauseous and grabbed Cid's arm to steady himself. The world seemed to be ripping apart at the seams. None of them said anything, but what could any of them say? They were too late. Their act of mercy had left one of the most precious members of their family vulnerable.

"Dad?" Dajh poked his head out from his bedroom and blinked down the hall at him. "There you are!" He limped out, wearing only one shoe. Ash smudged his face and clothes, and his bare foot appeared slightly burnt.

Sazh gave a wordless cry and dashed towards his son. Before Dajh could say another word, his father had seized him in a hug that any borgbear chieftain would be proud of.

Lightning skidded to a halt beside them and put a hand on Dajh's head. "You're all right, Dajh. You're all right," she said with an audible exhale.

Hope started laughing as the fear and misery that had built inside him suddenly evaporated. The laughter soon spread to the rest of them, even Sazh, who wiped the unshed tears from his eyes.

Dajh beamed at them. "You guys should have been here. It was so great. Cryohedrons came bouncing towards me, but I killed a couple of them with my awesome Fire spells! One of them almost got me, but I ran faster than he could explode. Then I decided to let you guys handle the rest of the bad guys, and went into my room and shut the door. I was so brave and strong. I'm incredible, really."

Sazh shook his head, still laughing despite the terrified look on his face. "Remind me to thank Snow for being a bad influence on my son."

"He'll be thrilled to hear about it, I'm sure." Lightning bent down to heal Dajh's foot with a Cure spell. "You did good, Dajh. Maybe it's time to step up your training."

"Oh, good!" Dajh patted her on the head. "Hey, you know what, Miss Light? I dreamt my mom came back last night, but I can't really remember what she looked like anymore. It was kinda funny--she looked a lot like you in my dream."

Lightning just looked up at Dajh and gave the boy one of her rarest of expressions: a smile brighter than his own. Sazh ruffled Dajh's hair and stood up. "Sounds like a good dream, Dajh."

Cid stepped forward. "We should get out of here." He glanced around the tower, his expression distant and closed. "This place is as empty and soulless as Cocoon now."

It was Hope's turn to squeeze Cid's hand. When Cid glanced down, Hope thought he saw gratitude in his eyes.

 

*************

 

The sun kissed the horizon by the time the _Lady Luck_ approached camp. Hope headed out to the aft deck, figuring Cid had enough time alone. Cid leaned over the railing, staring down at the the fierce greens of the woods. Hope took a deep breath, relieved to have fresh air in his lungs. It felt cleaner, purer, than anything inside Morpheus' tower.

"A gil for your thoughts?" Hope asked, leaning against the railing and studying Cid.

Cid turned to study Hope, the wind sending his long dark hair fluttering across his face. "They're not for sale, but I'll let you have them in exchange for a kiss."

Hope grinned and stood on his tiptoes to oblige Cid. The feel of Cid's lips against his sent electric thrills tingling up and down Hope's spine, and he warmed to the press of Cid's body against his. Hope could taste bittersweet saju tea on Cid's tongue.

"I was expecting to receive that kiss later, in private," Cid whispered when they came up for air.

"It's okay." Hope stepped back and licked his lips. "I told Lightning and Sazh. They didn't even seem surprised. Sazh just told me that he hopes we're happy. Lightning seemed more concerned about how you treat me than anything else. I think she might threaten you later. You should take her very seriously, of course."

Cid stroked Hope's cheek. "I would be a fool not to, on many levels." He dropped his hand and glanced back out across the wilds of Gran Pulse. "It's beautiful from up here."

Hope kept his gaze on Cid. "I'm sorry about the tower. I'm sorry you had to leave."

"As am I." Cid frowned at the distant sunset. "I relied too much on the fal'Cie. As much as I wanted to be free of them, I still wanted them to care for me. I suppose we can never have it both ways."

"No. But you'll still be cared for. By all of us. When we were in Cocoon, people there relied on the fal'Cie to take care of them, and not each other. That's why the fal'Cie could manipulate us. But if we care for each other, we will have more than we ever had before. And we'll be stronger, too."

"How philosophical." Cid smiled. "But we will lack yute cookies for the boy."

"It's okay. His father said he couldn't have anymore, anyways."

Cid chuckled and pulled Hope close. "Your logic is impeccable."

The wind picked up as the _Lady Luck_ soared down to the camp, where the rest of their family awaited them. Hope and Cid disembarked with the others. Dajh limped straight for his chocobo, who stood as tall as Snow now. The chocobo warked happily and nuzzled Dajh's face. Team NORA was nowhere to be found, but Snow headed towards them with a wide smile across his face. Something about him appeared different, though he wore the same coat he always wore. His now-short hair ruffled in the wind, the same length it had been before they left. It took Hope a moment to realize it was the quality of Snow's smile that had changed. It somehow seemed _more_ than it ever had before, even when he had married Serah.

Snow paused when his gaze fell on Cid, and his smile faltered.

"Cid's all right," Hope said quickly. "He's with me. He's one of us now."

"Cid, huh? Well, all right." Snow could always be trusted to accept things quickly and easily. His strange new smile returned. "Looks like we have two new people to welcome into the family then."

"Two?" Lightning cried, stepping forward.

"This way," Snow said, beckoning. "Come meet Oerba Farron-Villiers. Everyone's waiting with Serah for you."

As the others followed Snow to crowd around Snow and Serah's baby, Hope paused and glanced back at Cid. "All right?"

Cid glanced back at Hope, then turned in the direction of Morpheus' Tower. "This not the life I ever envisioned for myself." He glanced at Hope. "But it's more than all right."

Hope smiled. "Good."

"Indeed." Cid clapped a hand to Hope's back. "Let's go meet this new young lady that your friends seem so interested in."

Hope nodded and led Cid towards the small log house that Snow had built for him and Serah. Inside the firelit room, everyone watched as Lightning cradled her tiny, red-faced niece and hummed Morpheus' clockwork lullaby.

 

 _End._


End file.
